Sad thoughts

Went to high tea with co-workers today at King Edwards Hotel.  Close to the end of our meal, an older gentleman came in to have high tea on his own.  The waitress said hi to him and addressed him by his name; looked like a regular there.  But then i was thinking, why is he all by himself?  When i see this kinda thing, it always makes me think about perhaps he is there to revisit some old memories, maybe him and his wife were regular customers there and now that his wife is no longer there, he likes to go there to remember his wife.  That makes me so sad...

The other day ming and i were at MacDonald having dinner, then this older gentleman came in, ordered one McChicken Junior and a small fries.  I said to ming, maybe his wife passed away and he doesn't know how to cook so he has to come in to eat MacDonald.  Plus, because they did not save up when they were younger, so he has to order the cheapest items on the menu.  That also makes me sad...

I am afraid of aging.  Thinking about getting old is sad.  Thinking about old people makes me sad.  That's why I wanted to work with kids and not seniors.  

Give me my vaccine

This whole H1N1 vaccine biz is driving everyone insane in this country!

Ever since its roll out, the news has been non-stop.  Who's getting it first, people shouldn't get it first is getting it, people lining up for over 8 hours in the cold to get it, blah blah blah...

I myself was concerned about it, simply because I am in the higher risk population group, but I thought the public shouldn't get so overly antsy about getting the vaccine.  Until this morning I heard about this 13 y.o. healthy hockey player boy who died from it...  That is such tragedy.  

As a health care worker, i don't know what to think, should i feel lucky that i get to have the vaccine first? or should i be worried about getting the flu while working?

As a pregnant health care worker, i am super worried.  BUT i still cannot get the vaccine! coz the one for women under 20 weeks of pregnancy is not yet available.  Like i said, the general public should not panic and just wait for their turn to get the vaccine, and therefore i shouldn't be too anxious either.  BUT after what happened at work last week, i am more eager than anyone to get the vaccine.  We had a girl who came to our clinic, had high fever, developed a seizure, we had to call a code, and i was involved with the code.  The girl had high fever and coughs, and so did her sister the next day.  Even though i wasn't too close to her at all times, but i was pretty close to her... i was crossing my fingers over the weekend that i don't develop any flu like symptoms, which i didn't thank god.  But i cannot let this kinda thing happen to me again.  i need to be more self conscious now, considering i am now responsible for another human being.  So will Health Canada/Sickkids act quicker and get my vaccine here ASAP please?!!!

狡猾的大統華

上禮拜去大統華看到有賣芭樂， 上面寫：“臺灣芭樂”，看了好高興，就給他買了。 回到家，吃了後覺得不是很好吃， 把子切掉後，整個沒剩什麼肉。 昨天吃了第二個，才發現這個上面貼了個 "Product of USA" 而且還是 “Thailand Guava”。。。 氣死我了。。。 大統華好爛，故意把那貼紙隱藏起來， 騙消費者。 Gay Westin should look into what kinda company he just took over.

Heartburn kills...

Baby kicking so much!!!

Body so tired...

Not sleeping at night~~~

Miki you better be a good boy when you come out.

I want to eat here!!!!

Miki's real name

still have not reached a conclusion as to what we are going to name our baby.

so let me know what you think:

1. Noah

2. Matthew

3. Ryan

4. Others

"Boy boy boy" yelled by Chloe and pointed at my belly

Seeing the little thing moving around on the screen of the US machine still feels kinda surreal.  I saw his heart, his brain, his hands and feet, and his whole spine! I asked if we could find out the sex that day, the tech was very willing and went to get ming to come into the room.  First she showed us all his parts and how his heart was pumping, saw the little valves too! Then she asked "you want to know the sex, right?!" I said, "yes," but then ming asked "are you sure?" I yelled " of course!" Then she showed us his little (but obvious) "boyhood,"  in three different angles! So I think there is very little chance that it will turn out the other way.  Do babies pee when they are in their mommy's tummy? No, right?!  

It is so weird having a boy inside of me, I am a female, what do I know about taking care of a boy? I've always told myself and ming that I am only gonna have one kid, coz I don't want to go through pregnancy again, coz it's just plain hell.  But now that this one is a boy, I think I will want a girl... I have to have a girl.

After knowing that it's a boy, I feel like he's much stronger (compare to if I was having a girl), I can eat whatever I want, or take less vitamins, basically be more reckless... :P  But ming (very) strongly advised me not to eat "sashimi." 

Then I went baby cloth shopping.  Like I said, I am the planning type, I like to be prepared.  I think being in nursing has made me the way I am now.  If I didn't plan what I needed to do ahead of time, I would never get out of work on-time (or at least somewhat on-time).  When I was doing my master's degree, I would have my paper finished at least 4-5 days ahead of the due date, so ming could proof read it.  That's me, I like to plan ahead.  Plus, ming and I are going to be extremely poor starting NOW, coz we just got possession of our condo, and we need to pay a great amount of down payment for our new home that's gonna be ready next June.  If I don't spend/buy stuff now, we will never be able to buy later, coz there will be no money left in my bank account.... 

One thing I discovered that is baby boy clothes are not as cute as baby girl clothes!!!  Ahy.... It's either blue or green or brown... not much variety.  I miss buying clothes for my nieces, so fun, so much selections!  Ming got this little onesie that has a bunch of skulls print on it (he said it's One Piece) and it wasn't even on sale.  God help me...

I just want this baby to be born healthy and strong, now that I feel his kicks and movements, I am much relieved.  But if he doesn't kick, I feel anxious, wondering what he's doing, or if there's something wrong.  I rather have this baby out sooner than later, coz I can't bear the mysterious feeling.

奇怪，上一次他的頭在右邊，怎麼這次在左邊哩？