Sunday, July 08, 2007

Today i had a realization.

The notion of men being superior than women still exsits around us. I am sure that this thinking is comman in many places of the world, but it sort of came to a surprise when i felt it so close to me.
On one occasion with lots of friends around, i probably asked ming to do something more serious instead of screwing around, a friend commented "oh, i guess i know who wears the pants in this house." On another occastion, we were playing games with friends, i was winning or ahead of ming, so i told him that he could "organize my chips for me" and that was apparantly wrong. "Wow, if she does that in front of all your friends, it must be worse at home!" HOLY!!! No matter if i was joking or not (because i was actually serious about asking him to help me), what is wrong with "a man organizing a woman's money?" Absolutely nothing!!! Why can men scold at women or nag about them in the public while the other way around makes women "revolutional or untraditional." Maybe my tone of voice is not the nicest sometimes, but i truly don't believe in trying to save the men's face in the public (i welcome objections). Long as we both respect each other and we can "stand each other" there is no need to be afraid and think that men should be treated as "the man" when there are other people around. I have to say that ming is a great guy and probably the best thing that could have ever happened to me in my life (besides my parents and sisters) but i wouldn't have stayed with him if he believes that i should treat him as "my lord" when we are in front of others. We live in a 21st century. Men do things for women just as women do things for men. I clean the house not because i am a woman, i clean because i can't stand the dirtiness (not that i have been cleaning a lot). And i do the laundry or do the dishes because i know he doesn't have time to do it and i love him so i help him out around the house. Ming brings home dinner not because he was asked to do it, he does it because he loves me and he wants me to have a good meal. There is no such thing as who wears the pants in the house or "outside the house" anymore. Women and men are equal, they are the same privately and publicly. And if the couple seem to be doing well. regardless of what people think, other people should not barge in to comment about it. 姊姊妹妹站起來!!!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

First of all, as the person who made the comment "Guess we know who wears the pants in this house", I must apologize for that. That was totally inappropriate for me to joke about it. That being said, I believe none of the male friends we know are the Shovanist you are referring here. When the person made the remark about "Wow, if she does that in front of all your friends, it must be worse at home", I think that was not suggesting that Ming shouldn't organize the chips for you. Instead, I think that was referring to the tone of that order. Yes, you don't have to treat Ming as a man/lord in front of your friends, but I do believe you should treat each other with respect as a person. If the situation was the other way around, it would be equally inappropriate.

Yes, as long as Ming is comfortable with how you treat him, it's not our place to comment on it. All I am saying is that sometimes a little "Please" goes a long way.

Cheers.

pandaming said...

oh Dudu...aren't you in trouble~

=)

i guess i shouldn't make a joke here since Jack's so serious about this issue. My friends like to joke about me being 'whipped' (not our TW friends) just becasue i hate staying out late and i usually phone home before i go out with friends. I used to have problem with those comments, but now i just laugh it off... why? cus it's meaningless trying to argue over it. I know i know, jack, i know that you would iike me to say something here if anyone would to make a comment like that, then again, most of those comments were serious; and i doubt i can change their minds even if i say something.

i call home because i respect my family. I was brought up this way, and i will continue to do so most likely. It's a sign of respect for the partner you live with.... it's not about getting a 'permission'.... and even if it's about getting a permission, what's wrong with that? Jack would consult me as well when she's heading out with her friends. It's about mutual respect.. =)

anyway... i am sure that we can put this behind us..hhaahhaha. =) just watch your back, dudu.... you piss off the wrong woman...hahahha

Unknown said...

I'm sure if the situation were the other way around, no one would have said anything. I have to admit that deep inside of me i am also trying to fight this traditional view on men vs. women, afterall we were all brought up in this kinda thinking. if ming would to say the same thing to me, i would have probably just slapped him in the shoulder, and did it anyways, but he wouldn't have gotten any comments from anyone. There.

Ying-Hsu said...

why cares about what other people say?? you know mingo doesn't think this way...that's all you need~~
don't get mad over these kind of thing...just educate your kids well...hahaha

FT said...

Oh man I smell tension!
And I don't even want to comment on this...
But I know whoever that DH is.. he's really gotta watch his back, maybe his front too.

pandaming said...

hahaha.... DH has entered a witness protection program and i doubt we will see him at the wedding


(not for this reason though..hahahahha... Hwang papa)

Anonymous said...

每一對情侶個有他們相處的方法,在一起久了自然會培養出默契和對彼此的瞭解; 這種默契是旁人無法理解和給予評論的